23 May 2013

Live life on your own terms

“You live only once” seems like such a clarion call.   

Get up and do things you like. Enjoy yourself, burn a hole in your pocket, dye your hair blonde, go off to climb Everest, watch every movie, get drunk, snort cocaine, in short, be conscious of every minute that passes you by. 

I feel life is all about being less concerned about what people think of you, and being more concerned about what you are comfortable doing.

I once read an interview with Bapsi Sidhwa in a magazine.  She said, “Women are under scrutiny all the time.  It is difficult for them to be natural.”  It was such a deep thing to say.  I have never been able to forget this sentence of hers.

Women of my generation were constantly watched for what they said, what they wore, how they walked, how they sat.  It was very stifling.  It impacted your decision making ability, if you were allowed making decisions at all.  Alright, I won't go into a feminist mode on this.  But, under these circumstances, doing things that you really liked was hard.  Even if your choices were as innocuous as watching a movie or reading a book, forget about having a boyfriend.

I have come a long and a hard way to earn my right to live my life on my own terms.  There was a time when I was in a bad situation, a bad marriage.  At that time, I had to make a life altering decision. To stay in the bad marriage, or step out of it.  I wasn't really thinking of this line at that time, but I think it was at the back of my mind when I took my children and stepped out of my husband's house.
You live only once.

Write Tribe Prompt


  1. Very nice one, Ava. Indeed sometimes we need to remind ourselves that we live only once. So however hard some decisions may be, we sometimes just HAVE to take them, because we're not going to get a second chance.

  2. Well said, Ava. It actually takes a lot of courage (and wisdom) to do what you need to, in order to make the most of the one life one has. Especially as even one life is all too short to do it all... (and don't we know it, with the LONG list of movies we want to watch and the books we want to read)!

  3. Three cheers for Ava di!!! Thankfully our daughters have more freedom!

  4. Worrying about what people think of us is our biggest mistake in life. I guess everyone of us is guilty of that. So true, we live only once.


  5. The para starting I feel life is all about being less concerned ... sums it up very nicely.
    Loved your post.

  6. I'm so glad that you took that step and are now leading life happy. Great take on the YOLO theme :)

  7. Thank you girls :-) From the bottom of my heart.

  8. This is touching and what you have written is entirely true even for most of us today despite education, modernisation and what not. Decisions of moment have lasting impact on our life, a good decision of yours, I respect it.

  9. Very well pointed and thought provoking Avaji, decisions must be based on the fact :)

  10. Thank you Kislaya. Not an easy time of my life to write about, frankly. Still makes my heart shiver.

    Anupam: Thank you.

  11. Such a heartfelt post ava... somewhere it reveals something much deep than just a single prompt. I don't want to spam your comments page but sometime back I wrote something on a similar lines.. if you have time do see. perhaps you might relate to it. Thanks for sharing with us such an important part of your life. I am sure that time is what sometimes defines who you are as a person..

    http://subzeroricha.blogspot.in/2013/05/dear-mom.html (the post :))


  12. Thank you for your sweet words Richa.

    I am reading your blogpost now.

    You can share anything here anytime :)

  13. That was indeed a tough decision but You live only once and took courage enough to make it !
    GOD BLESS and abt that scrutiny- that sentence got me thinking too Ava
    so true !
    Good one on the prompt

  14. Thank you Afshan.

    Yes, if you think about it, women/girls are under scrutiny all the time. Are they good mannered, what are they wearing, where are they going. Baap re.

  15. Indeed one lives only once, and considerable part of that one life is already spent too. So one needs to make the most of it.